Semifinal Round
The Unloved Puppies finally used up all their magic. Rim Riders took those puppies out back and put them out of their misery. Two goose eggs in Eric’s lineup, but that really doesn’t matter when you have Nacua, Higgins (sans Chase), and McCaffrey. Throw in a solid 24 from Josh Allen, and you get a 123-65 blowout to send Eric to the championship. Helluva run by Mason, great work bud. Drafting with 45F and making it to the semis is no small feat. One of the best parts about it, on draft day I remember all of us commenting that we didn’t hate Mason’s team and thought it could be frisky. He’s now headed for a 3rd place battle with Tank worth $200. Fun fact, Mason has fucked up the Prescott/Purdy starting decision four weeks in a row, for a net negative 45 points.
The Urge to Purge put up a valiant fight, but succumbed in the end to Jalen Hurts and AJ Brown on Christmas Day. In a wildly genius move, Scotty Mo started James Conner (pointed out by Jakob originally in the thread) over Etienne and Pollard. Ended up being the right call to the tune of +13 or +14. Tank had great production from Stafford, Evans, and Olave, but couldn’t get anything out of LaPorta, Achane, or the Chicago defense. Pacheco taking a knee to his bare head didn’t do him any favors either!
Man, Jake almost came back to overcome Amari Cooper’s 43 point day! Dallas squeezes by to get the all important 5th place spot. Nobody wants to be sixth. Might as well be 9th. You know what’s crazy? How bad Mahomes has been. I know I don’t have to tell Dally, but Week 16 marks eight weeks in a row of scores in the teens or less for Pattycakes. Very strange seeing him so mortal! Even so, Dallas gets the win thanks to Cooper balling out, and caps a pretty disappointing season for a team with such high expectations. I feel for you Dally, but hey, it just wasn’t your year.
Ragen put up the second highest total of the week to send Stunning & Brave packing. Breece Hall, my boy, drops a 30 burger against me, and Justin Jefferson finally had himself a game after only being back a few weeks. CeeDee and the Sun God did all they could, but the majority of my team didn’t feel like doing anything special. Emancipation Fornication heads to the consolation final to try and grab $100, a small consolation but it ain’t nothing!
Chanpuonsgup takes down OTT IS HIM, despite the lack of production from all the offensive players on his team. Koo and Baltimore’s defense lead the way to his 86-79 victory. Jahmyr Gibbs has sure had a few nice games in a row, and Justin Fields had a bounce back game. You guys want to know something strange? In Week 11 Fields scored 23 points. In Week 12 he scored 9. Week 13 Bye. Week 14, he scored 23 points, Week 15, he scored 9. Week 16? 23 points. So since he’s been back from injury, he’s either scored 23 or 9 points. Wild.
On to one of the most important matchups of the week! No Safe Words vs WhoGivesAFuck. Bradley scored the most fucking points of the season, doing everything in his power to try and get us more cash. Bradley’s kicker, Dicker, drops 21 on Thursday, so of course Spencer’s kicker, Sanders, goes ahead and drops 22 on Sunday. It was more points than we ever could have hoped Bradley’s team to throw up. I’m gonna need my stat boy to figure out how many times we’ve had a double loser in the league, regular season and consolation bracket loser. Bradley finds the double shit crown this year, putting up historically low numbers, yet still providing us some of the best entertainment. Now we get to decide how many horse races we want to do with his 14F coming back!
It comes down to this, Eric vs Scott for all the marbles. The two men that dominated the league the entire regular season, appropriately the last ones standing. Scott won 110-82 in the regular season, but that was back in Week 7. Every single player in their matchup plays Sunday, so we’ll be crowing a new champion Sunday evening! May the best man win.
Commish Out.
Dec 26 5:13 PM
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