2026 Week 4

Fall is the fucking best. Specifically, October. I can’t speak to the weather you all get in your zip codes, Bend can be all over the place at times, but if there’s one thing we can count on, we’ll get at least one or two 70-80 degree weeks in October. We have football, the tourists are gone, the leaves are changing, it cools off hard at night but the last remnants of summer remain during the day. Can still golf, can already get cozy at night for a Sunday Night Football game. If there’s anything I love more than all of those things in October, it’s kicking Nick’s ass in a Trowbridge Bowl. According to Eric’s incredible stat keeping, I now know that Nick and I, before this week were 11-11 all time in the regular season against each other. 12 wins now for the non-running, better looking Trowbridge brother! Kyren Williams and Puka, both in the fourth quarter, came through so fucking clutch. 47 combined points for the pair. Nico is a god amongst men out there when he can stay healthy… even if the Texans can’t win, he sure can! Hilariously, and strangely predictably, (but not really) the week Nick makes a QB change, Drake Maye decides to remember how to play football. Javonte was the bright spot for Nick, but no one else could get anything going. Not that it would have mattered, I scored a season high (for the whole league) 142 points on the week, and Nick slips to 0-3-1 for the season. He now gets to comment on the fact that he has the most points scored against him, by a fair margin, at 451. We all know the truth, he’s gotten absolutely obliterated two weeks (by league high week scores), and could have found wins the other two if Drake Maye hadn’t swapped football skills with Ryan Leaf for three games. He’s eyeing a win in Week 5, with Bradley’s already struggling squad experiencing early bye weeks. Time will tell if he can make a run, but it’s looking more like a year for an early fire sale to set him up for next year. Dynasty Later, bro!

Dallas and Tetairoa McMillan put an absolute beat down on Rage Bait. What a way to close out a fantasy matchup! 34 from McMillan, SEVENTEEN catches from CeeDee, with 27 points to boot (non-PPR), and J-Tay got it all started with 21 points in London. Nothing like some fish and chips and women with crooked teeth to get you up and ripping on a Sunday morning. Ragen gets his first loss of the season, but maintains the edge in the standings at 6th, while Dallas is lurking at 7th. All due, of course, to Ragen’s tie breaker (his tie). Dallas has scored 463 points on the season, Ragen only 319. You can hoot and holler for fractional scoring all you want big boy, you’re gonna LOVE having that tie for the playoff race. Rage looks to right the ship in a tough matchup against the #2 seed, Touched by the Tism, in Week 5. Dallas moves on to see how Frothy Holes treats him.

Speaking of holes being frothy, someone who isn’t making anyone’s holes frothy in fantasy football is Captain Cuck, who continues to be the best at watching other people score while he sits in a chair… I’m gonna need my stat guy on this, but Scott may have the toughest QB play of all time happening for him this year. The Possibly Less Mighty Mouse scores -2 Week 1, Baker scores 11 Week 2, (9 running total now), Kyler puts up 9 (18 through three weeks from QB spot), and then 10 from Kyler in Week 4, for a total of 28 points from his starting QB. That has to be a record unless Nick and his Drake Maye/Brisset debacle is worse… (checking…) oh my god. I take it all back, Nick may have the record for least QB points through four weeks, with his ponies scoring 27 total. Ouch! Kenneth Walker III is proving to be one of the best buys of all time, and with Ja’Marr Chase out, Tee Higgins could be a wild stallion. Kamara casually picks up 17 points and Eric cruises to his third win and sits at third place in the standings. Scott gets to pause and reflect on why he sold his (possibly) best player for 12F.

Chronically Mismanaged finally comes to earth in Week 4. After being in god mode for his first three games, JSN only scores 7. Josh Allen has his second mortal game in a row. Mason’s kicker was his highest scoring player (19 points is sick though). Spencer had massive games from Bijan, and Chuba. Jared Goff did Jared Goff things, and he closes this one out 110-79. Yes, Mason left 29 from Monangai on his bench… but thankfully it wouldn’t have made the difference. I will say, I cannot believe the guy in first place in this league has been getting away with going double tight ends. They aren’t even the good ones! Good for you Mason, good for you. Didn’t work this week. Spencer has won three straight and will look to keep things rolling against Ragen, even though it appears he kind of needs DJ Moore healthy, and he’s starting Will Shipley in the flex. Even though Saquon hasn’t done anything, somehow the third stringer might. We will see!

Bear-ly Legal avoids the traps and whoops up on B-Rad 104-54. Zay Flowers looking real nice, and evidently the offense is strangely centered around getting him in coverage with linebackers. Seems good. Burrow somehow scores 26 even though the Bengals only score 17, but it ain’t that hard to win a fantasy match when your opponent only scores 54. Bradley, I kind of thought your spell casting this year would be something we’ve never seen before. I mean, what else are you spending your time doing?? The Chiefs score 30 points, but Mahomes, Kelce, and Worthy combine for 25, somehow. Puka’s return shuts down Davante, and D’Andre Swift somehow let his backup do all the work. Jake moves to 3-1, chillin in 5th place, while Bradley slips to 9th place at 1-3, with his second loss in a row.

CJ Stroud puts up his best effort of the season, but AO still can’t find his second win of the season. Don’t worry AO, you drafted with 88F, but Scott and Nick drafted with 204F, and 210F, respectively. Tank’s bright spot was actually his kicker, Spencer Shrader, who I didn’t even know was Indy’s kicker, he scores 16! Kittle looking a little like vintage Kittle, and Tank gets the job done.

I’m gonna throw it back for a second, in honor of making Commish Notes great again and throwin in babes. It’s time for NFL WAGS 2026! Alright this is in no particular order, and I have to be honest, the boys in the NFL these days are NOT dating women who are curvy at all. Perused a few WAG lists, all the girls were sticks, but still very attractive. Just surprised (and obviously, sad for myself).

Leading us off is Haley Cavinder, Jake Ferguson's wife. She played basketball for the Miami Hurricanes in college:

Oh my god she has an identical twin. TWINS BASIL!!

Next up, Christen Goff, married to Jared Goff. First pic is from Sports Illustrated when she is pregnant:

This is what she looked like not pregnant, evidently:

Madison Beer was too obvious, and honestly couldn't find any great bikin pics. Moving on!

Laura Smith-Schuster, now married to Juju Smith-Schuster:

Mahogany Jones, either married to or at least partner/baby momma of Deebo Samuel:

Just because it's late, and I saw a commercial today with Megan Fox in it... I heard through the grapevine she got a BBL. My god I didn't think that woman could get hotter:

Boy, was I wrong.

Commish Out!