Happy Week 13 and Happy Thanksgiving boyos. I'm truly thankful to have all of you and this fantasy league in my life. This week's commish note is brought to you by Norovirus, the nasty little stomach bug I picked up a couple days ago. Violent puking and butt piss can't stop me from writing a commish note! Pictured above, a real life photo of me Monday night at about 3am. My system has never been more cleaned out, and for that, I am thankful. On to the action from last week!
Saquon Barkley (44) and Will Lutz (22) combined for 66 points, and Bare Bottoms decided to not take the week off, slamming Weekend at Bernies 131-51 for the season's largest beat down. OF COURSE Barkley decided to go the fuck off, the week directly after I point out the alternating good/bad game situation. Saquon is now the #2 player in fantasy.... if you were compiling the list WITH quarterbacks. Jake owns the #2 (Barkley), #3 (Burrow), and #4 (Henry) players in fantasy for the season. Seems real good. Jake only had five players in double digits this week to score his 131. Bradley's team is still a hot steaming pile of Bernie's dogshit, and I so badly hope that Bradley can find a way to draft around at least 130F this year (he's at 147F currently). Jake picks up his second win in a row, moves up to 2nd place, and he's poised for a big time matchup against Ragen in Week 13. A first round bye is on the line for Jakob, the playoffs are on the line for Ragen.
Ladies and gentlemen, the first manager to clinch the 2024 playoffs in the Bro Montana League, the ladies love him, the developer of websites, seller of wood, our very own stat boy, Errrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiicccccc Saylor! Sideline Karmalytics breezes past Young & Wrecked 111-77 with an entire team effort. Eric only had two players in single digits, and ironically enough, they've been two of his best players. Okay fine, Fairbairn may not be one of his best players, but he's the #2 kicker and been kind of a badass. Scary Terry and Nico Collins led the way for Eric, Lamar has a quiet game and the squad still puts up 111... yikes. Mason got Mahomes' second 20something point total of the season! And Addison dropped a monster 25! But, that was essentially everyone who wanted to do something for him this week. Mason moves down to 11th place, while Eric notches his sixth win in a row and still leads the league at 9-3 overall. Sideline Karmalytics moves on to fight with The BJ's, who haven't sniffed 100 points since Week 8, while Eric has gone ahead and broken 100 in each of his last three games, and eight of his last nine games.
Projected for 63, scores 108, Cinnamon Danish smacks I'm In My Prime 108-82. AO just wanted to make sure I had no illusions of making the playoffs, and even if I did, I sure don't now! Caleb Williams grabs 29 points, his highest of his career, Tony Pollard has a nice 21 point game. To give you some perspective on how nice those two games were... nobody on my team decided to break 20. Jaxon Smith-Njigba has put together three nice games in a row, and Jonnu Smith is finding some fire in South Beach. Cinnamon Danish is proving his team can be solid, only time will tell if he can compete for a consolation bracket championship game!
!!POUND FOR POUND!! defeats 3 in 5 108-71. Tua scored 31 points and the team with McCaffery, the Sun God, Deebo, Najee, and Chris Boswell could only come up with 40 other points. For Tank, Courtland Sutton drops 21, Achane grabs 17, and TJ Hockenson finally looked like TJ Hockenson again, with 14 points. After being 3-5 and staring down the barrel of the consolation bracket, Tank has now picked up his fourth win in a row, has a friendly matchup with me in Week 13, and as long as he picks up one win in the next two weeks, I love his chances to make the playoffs. Tank has now had a four game losing streak and a four game winning streak in 2024. Nick tries to salvage what he can of 2024, hoping his team FINALLY hits it's stride, going into a matchup against Dally and Dem Other Boyz.
The matchup of the week did not disappoint, Pull Out Method gets the 107-101 win against Cuming Of Rage. If someone had told me the Packers were gonna beat the 9ers, and the Commanders were going to lose to the Cowboys, I would NOT have guessed Jayden Daniels would have been the quarterback with 30 points, Spencer makes the correct QB call, gets 21 from Gibbs and a crucial 19 from AJ Brown on Sunday Night. Dobbins goes down, but all he had to do was not lose a fumble before he had 20 yards rushing, which he successfully pulled off. Ragen gets 31 from his boy, Jacobs, and 16 from McBride in the losing effort, but the real story here is Siebert. Siebert has been a monster kicker all year, sat the last two games due to injury, then came back to miss two extra point tries and a regular field goal, and now is placed on IR. Can't help but wonder how this fantasy matchup would have been different if Ragen could have started a healthy kicker, instead of a fake healthy kicker. Ragen is still in fifth place, and in control of his playoff destiny. He has a tough matchup against Jake and the Bare Bottoms this week, while Spencer heads to battle a momentarily hot Cinnamon Danish squad.
In the Butt Piss Bowl of the week, Dallas and Scott slogged it out in the muddy trenches, just like we did our senior year with our shit smelling football field. Aaron Jones was the high scorer of the matchup with 19, and Dallas only had one player score double digit points. In the end, The BJ's were victorious, 74-55. It was a massive game for Scott to pick up has he keeps his playoff chances alive. He does not control his destiny, but anything can happen with two weeks to go! Scotty has to try and be the one to knock Eric off his six game winning streak in Week 13, while Dally looks to right the ship against Nick and 3 in 5.
We have three teams at 8-4 jockeying for the second bye slot, and those last two playoff spots are anything but spoken for. Love you all, enjoy the Holiday time, and happy Week 13!
Commish Out.
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