2025 - Week 11

I once had dinner next to Ja'Marr Chase. It was Super Bowl weekend 2023 in Scottsdale, Arizona. I was visiting a friend, a rich doctor who lives in Phoenix. I was there with my ex, Brook, and we were staying with the rich doctor, going to Waste Management, and attending the rich doctor's super bowl party. Turn's out, rich doctor is friends with a minority owner of the Phoenix Suns. We end up at a fancy steakhouse, in the back room (rich people room), and Ja'Marr Chase sat down at the table next to us with his family. I didn't see him spit one time, which I thought was weird, especially with all the shit I was talking to him! I'm jealous of Jalen Ramsey is all I'm saying.

Week 11 was an abysmally low scoring weekend in the Bro Montana Bowl. 1101 total fantasy points were scored in Week 10 in the BMB, only 927 in Week 11, and NOBODY broke 100.

What an incredibly bad matchup between Dallas and Spencer, a rematch of last year's championship game. We were a Justin Fields over Patrick Mahomes start away from another tie from these boys. Spencer benched everyone who was actually good on his team, and somehow didn't have a single player score double digits in his starting lineup... but escaped victorious. 53-48 was the final score in this one, it hurt my eyes to even analyze this matchup.

Highest scoring team of the week was Mr Slick and the Taco Tickler, without the #1 player in fantasy, and with Ja'Marr Chase getting ejected. McBride and Etienne pick up the slack, Jason Myers kicked in 14 points. Scott may have lost the game, but hot damn TreVeyon Henderson sure has been a beast without Rhamondre Stevenson stopping him for carries. He scored 27 points this week, after 29 last week, and it will be interesting to see what this team does once Stevenson is healthy. They have won eight games in a row, so maybe they don't give a single fuck. Ragen picks up his second win in a row, stands alone in 3rd place at 7-4, and passes Nick for the highest scoring team in the league for the year. He's breathing down the necks of Jake and Tank, in great position to end up with one of the bye weeks because of the #1 tie breaker he now owns, and a reasonable schedule down the stretch starting with Dally Pooter in Week 12.

The Dogefather got a massive win in a very snug contest that came down to MNF. Repo Ric finally got a 20 point game out of Derrick Henry, his highest total since Week 1 of the season, and Pickens scored 23 on 144 yards and a tuddy to give Eric hope, but couldn't get him over the finish line. Would have been a very tough start to make, but the Buccaneer's 12th string running back Sean Tucker dropped 34 points on Eric's bench, but the biggest letdown for Ric was Lamar Jackson's four points, or maybe Devonta Smith's 0. Christian McCaffrey continues to lead the way for Jake with his third 30 point outing in five games. Evidently those German doctors know a thing or two, and the risky buy at draftime has panned out thus far. Jameson Williams and Deebo chip in 14 and 13, and The Dogefather picks up his fourth win in a row, in second place, only 15 points behind Tank for first, and he's playing Mason this week. Must feel pretty good! No wonder he got nice and tossed for Mason's birthday, without Mason.

The Ripped running royals have their lowest scoring match of the season and Stolen Valor wins their third game out of four 85-62. Just a complete team bed shitting from Nick this week. Puka, the Sun God, and Vidal combine for 11 points. Thank god Javonte Williams scored 9, or else Nick may have ended up in the 50s. Savvy start from B-Rad with Michael Wilson, and goddamn he had a better game than Marvin Harrison Jr has all year. Bradley has enjoyed the second least points scored against him in the league... good thing too because he's ranked 9th in scoring for the year. Be that as it may, he's in 7th, only one point behind Spencer and the final playoff spot, and a game in front of Eric who has the highest points total in 8th place arguably ever in this league.

What a wild finish to a wild matchup between Tripping Balls and Carnival Staff. Josh Allen, that sweet, sweet, golfing, zyning, badass, amazing quarterback got things off to a very hot start with a 45 point outing vs Tampa Bay, his second 40 point effort of the year. Shakir, of course, had zero points in the same contest, and Njoku, of course, also scored zero points. RJ Harvey, without JK Dobbins in the game, could only muster 5, and everyone else on my team sucked ass too. It looked like Paul was gonna run away with it! That is, of course, once the Raiders showed us on national TV they are, in fact, hot garbage. Jeanty and Bowers combine for only nine points, and Paul squeaks out the victory 78-77. Gibbs has been worth every bit of 70 dollars Paul spent for him, single handedly securing two victories in a row. Paul Love was once 2-5, crying himself to sleep next to Mason at the bottom of the standings. The man is now 6-5, he's tied for the most points against in the league, but has the sixth most points scored, and now he has mother fucking Gibbs. He has the highest projected score for Week 12, and he squares up with a struggling Duped up and Lubed up squad looking to get things back on track (Get it? Because Spencer is a conductor!).

Lost In The Sauce takes care of business against The Damned 93-78, which was much needed after Tank lost three out of his previous four games. Sam Darnold didn't care to show up for the matchup, but Bijan and Achane rocked and rolled. And CeeDee and Tre Tucker finished things off on Monday Night. Mason actually got some solid totals from his RBs and Kittle, but Odunze and Robinson let him down. Mason has lost his third in a row, but at least it's not as bad as Dallas' four in a row. Tank moves on to the in home rivalry, modern military versus ancient warfare, Tank vs Wizard 2025 vol 2. Tank took round one, but Bradley added some very powerful spells to his repertoire, namely Josh Allen.

It's the redo of Week 1 as far as matchups go. Caleb, Dallas, Eric, Tank, Jake, and Spencer were victorious the first go around. I'm predicting only two of those winners prevail again in Week 12.

Commish Out!