Congratulations to Jake, Spencer, and Dallas for clinching the playoffs with victories over the Holiday weekend. I've just now realized I've never eated John Madden's favorite Thanksgiving staple, Turducken, and now that's all I want to try. I hope all your respective festivities were lovely and delicious. I was in isolation eating mac and cheese, watching every single snap of the NFL slate, and losing money doing so.
This final week of the regular season is a little less interesting with Scott and Nick losing their matchups last week. Theoretically, Tank and/or Ragen could slide out of the playoff picture, but in the best chance scenario, I would have to win, Tank lose, AND I'd have to outscore Tank by 72. Certainly not impossible, but not probable.
Nick gets big weeks out of Tua, James Cook, and Najee, but his failure to start DJ Moore over Deebo ends up being the difference in the matchup. Dem Other Boys defeats 3 in 5 126-114. Mike Evans and Brock Bowers dominate, and the rest of the squad filled in nicely. McCaffrey slaps Nick in the face one last time, but Boswell continues fantasy kicker dominance. Boswell is now the #38 player in fantasy, and probably the only reason Nick was still in the playoff hunt. Okay I have to make fun of Dally for a minute here. He has CJ Stroud and Jared Goff, has for the entire season, he hasn't started Goff a single time this year, even though Goff has outscored Stroud eight times. Stroud hasn't scored more than 13 points in the last seven weeks. Jared Goff is the #9 QB in fantasy, while CJ Stroud is the #16 QB in fantasy. He finally HAS to start Goff, because his shitty 'starter' Stroud is on a bye. Hey, he's in the playoffs and I'm not, but goddamn! Nick moves on to try and ruin Eric's seven game winning streak, on the best week to try (that's what I call a super bye week!), and Dallas squares up with yours truly.
Eric continues his dominance of the Bro Montana Bowl, grabbing his 10th win of the season by beating The BJ's 125-96. Joe Mixon has been an absolute monster this year, Lamar is the #1 fantasy player, and Kyren Williams shows his early season form with 19 points against the Saints in Week 13. Scary Terry is BACK! As a former owner, it's fun to see. Scotty gets nice totals from the Dallas defense and Bucky Irving, but the double rookie WR plan has not worked like he had hoped it would. Even with a double Bradley matchup year, it looks as though our reigning champ will be missing the playoffs in 2024.
Can you imagine being Tank and losing to me in fairly shocking fashion not once, but twice on Monday night in the same year?? First Goedert with the reception I needed immediately preceeding the interception, then 54 points from Jeudy and the Denver defense?? Ouch! Thankfully for Tank, it's looking like it may not matter and he'll stumble in to the playoffs regardless. Prior to my luck, Tank was riding a very well-timed four game winning streak. He's eyeing a tough matchup with Spencer to finish things off, in what could be a first round playoff matchup. This is very random but it's something I need to get off my chest: The dumbass Seachickens are cancelled, if they let dumbass Charbonnet vulture yet another touchdown from KWIII, I'm going to do something very theatrical and dramatic.
Bare Bottoms knocks off Cuming of Rage 99-88 behind 20 from Saquon, and 21 from Burrow. Somehow the Bengals score 38 points and Burrow only has 21? Ragen's squad just couldn't get much going, besides 17 from Jacobs. Starting Dowdle over Chuba would have been the difference, but Chuba has been good so its hard to justify. The move was clearly starting the Green Bay Packer Jayden Reed, Ragen's boy, over Amari Cooper who has been trash. Jake picks up his 3rd win in a row, and is the clear favorite for the second bye slot with the most points scored in the league, and a favorable matchup for Week 14 against Mason. Ragen, on the other hand, has lost three games in a row, at a time of the year you'd really rather not. Still safe to make the playoffs, but you have to believe he'd like to see his team win a game heading into the post season, unless he's just saving up those Ws for a magical run.
Mason beats Bradley in one of the least meaningful matchups we've gotten to witness since this time last year. Brian Robinson Jr and Chase Brown lead the way for Young & Wrecked and a 98 point total. Bradley's team is hot steaming garbage and I can't believe my team lost to his, ever.
Pull Out Method beats Cinnamon Danish 90-88 in a very exciting, nail-biting, game. Spencer lucks out, putting up a score that would have lost to eight other teams this week. Jayden Daniels and Bijan score 49 monster points, but Caleb Williams and Keenan Allen made this one verrrrrry interesting. Big kudos to AO and Cinnamon Danish on the season, with a very small amount of money, AO drafted a competitive team that put up some battles, all year long. What I'm trying to say is, if you're gonna be poor come draft time, be more like AO, and less like Bradley.
Matchup of the week is most certainly Spencer vs Tank. Ragen and I will be in Las Vegas, specifically Chicas Bonitas, which is most certainly heaven on earth. Happy final week of your 2024 regular season, gentleman.
Commish Out!.
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