2026 Week 8

Dally Pooter was the highest scoring team for two weeks in a row, with a 135 in Week 7 and a 141 in Week 8. He puts the beat down on his team name inspiration, Dynasty again, on the backs of Tony Pollard (28), Jaylen Warren (23), and Brock Bowers (21). Jalen Warren has snuck his way into the #7 fantasy RB spot, while Tony Pollard has absolutely gone the fuck off two weeks in a row. Five TDs from the young man in his last two games, six total TDs on the season. Nick’s team didn’t stand much of a chance, and didn’t really get anything going. Dynasty again is still somehow only three games out of first place, two games out of a playoff spot, despite the very sluggish start to the season. Dallas grabs the points for high watermark for the league, and sits atop the leaderboard with a friendly matchup against Captain Cuck in Week 9.

I have only scored 100 or more twice this year, once for 142 points, and then in Week 8 for 133. Tank lost Lamar in the first 30 seconds of the 10am games, Braelon Allen (23) and D’Andre Swift (25) kept his team from total embarrassment, but 133 points is hard to overcome. The Jaguars defense (20), Jahmyr Gibbs (25), and Michael Wilson (21) were the stars of my show, but it was a total team effort from the I’m The Commish boys. Tactical Diet Coke moves on to face Pepsi products for the in house battle I know we’re all excited to see. Will Bradley trade Tank one of his best players ahead of the matchup?? Survey says, very likely!

In what ended up being a high scoring barn burner, Rage Bait survived the -3 Jason Myers effort on MNF, and JSN to beat Chronically Mismanaged 111-104. True to his team name, Mason was a Dalton Kincaid start away from victory. -3 total points from the kickers in this matchup. 43 from the big name WRs (Chase and JSN). Tuten with a 30 burger. 19 from the Steelers defense. It was everything you could want in a fantasy matchup, especially if you’re Ragen and got the win. Ragen corrects the two game skid, sits in sixth place, while Mason is on his heels in seventh. After a 3-0 start, Mason has lost four of his last five and desperately hopes to get back on track. Week 9 doesn’t get much easier, he squares up against the 5-3, fourth place Frothy Holes squad. Rage Bait has a big 5th/6th seed matchup with Bear-ly Legal.

Spencer breezes past Bradley to correct his three game skid. Both teams had two goose eggs in their lineups. Patrick Mahomes is the reason Bradley didn’t score in the 30s. Jared Goff had his first single digit game. Nothing much else to see here.

Frothy Holes breezes past Fear And Loathing 100-61. Big time Tee Higgins show. AO had a solid RB core for a game! Jonah Coleman was a very nice pickup. Nothing much else to see here.

Lastly, we have the lowest scoring, but most exciting matchup of Week 8! Captain Cuck vs Bear-ly Legal. It must have been a helluva a storm these boys were playing in. Six players in this matchup scored 3 or less points. Jake had three big name receivers score 0 points: Drake London, Zay Flowers, and DK Metcalf. Derrick Henry and Saquon Barkley got outscored by Bucky Irving. Penix Jr scored -2, and Scott’s kicker goes to IR after scoring one point. To finish things off, Colston Loveland had five targets during the Bears’ first drive on Monday night. Only to finish with four points total, a point shy, and Captain Cuck prevails in one of the wildest matchups I’ve seen in a long time!

Things are very snug in the standings, gentlemen. Half a game separates the top five seeds, and 1.5 games separate seeds 1 and 8.

Commish Out.