You guys may have already known, but I had no idea about one particular detail related to sperm and our anatomy. Turns out, sperm originates in the testis, but as you can see from the detailed picture above, travels down a fairly long baby gravy highway, around the bladder, routing through the seminal vesicle, prostate, finally entering the penis for firing. This is a long way to explain I got vasectomized yesterday, but I still have live sperm until I clean that highway out. One week off, then green lights. They think it's gonna take me 12 weeks to get out 22-28 ejaculations... after I was done laughing, I asked what the record was. Turns out, they don't know, and there's no prize for getting it done quicker, except sweet, sweet sterility.
What a week in the Bro Montana Bowl! Bradley scored 71 points and gave Scott a heart attack, AO gets his first victory, Jake Elliott sets the bar for highest scoring week on the season with 157, and Tank drops his second game in a row! Let's dive in to the details.
Bradley and Scott found themselves in an incredibly tight match. A mud fest, a trough beater, a grinder for the ages. Bradley had four players in double digits, Scott only had three. Bradley only had one player with a goose egg! Kmet, Johnston, the Indianapolis defense, all doing what they could throughout Sunday to give Bradley a chance. This one came down to Sunday Night Football; Cousins, Mooney, and Koo for Bradley against Worthy and the KC defense for Scott. The Falcons couldn't do enough down the stretch for B-Rad, the Wizard drops another game but can hold his head just a smidge higher (Until Thursday at 11:59pm when I take 69 of his fantasy dollars away and do some high stakes horse racing. This is yet another warning Bradley, Thursday is your last day for community service!). Scott gets out with a win, shakes off the heeby jeebies, and faces his attention toward Mason and Young & Wrecked.
Tank drops his second game in a row, losing to the now 3-0 Pull Out Method professionals. This one was a magical Monday Night extravaganza. Josh Allen and Etienne on one side vs Jayden Daniels and Tyler Bass on the other. It was electric, Allen scoring most the points early, but then Daniels took care of business to put Spencer alone at the top of the standings in the BMB. I went off about JK Dobbins scoring all sorts of points for Spence last week, but it must be mentioned that Chris Godwin is quietly doing Chris Godwin things. Hasn't scored in the single digits yet, and it's not even a PPR league. Jefferson, Gibbs, and Bijan chip in on a total team effort and Spencer skips his way into a Week 4 matchup against Dem Other Boys
Jauan Jennings! Why did the 49ers pay Auiyk if this guy was waiting in the wings?? Whatever, you're not gonna hear AO complain about it, Can't imagine it would have been fun to lose while Odunze and Williams finally scored points. so it was a very good thing Jennings decided to score 38 himself. Ragen got 20 from Amari Cooper and 21 from his Packers D, but very little elsewhere, dropping the matchup 89-83. Ragen slides to 8th place overall, and has to take on a frustrated !!POUND FOR POUND!! squad looking for blood (or semen). Ceedee drew first blood in this matchup, with 15 points on Thursday night. Moving on!
Jake did things to Mason that have been made illegal in 37 of the lower 48 states. 157-66 SMACKDOWN, led by his hogs, Barkley and Henry, supported by his hawks, Metcalf and Charbonnet, finished with his big dick, Joe Burrow. Bare Bottoms managed a 157 point monster while Jameson Williams decided to not even try football this week. Mason has to be loving the output by his team's namesake, Rashee Rice, but very little else coming from his team this weekend. The good news? Mason's in 9th place, where he feels safe. The bad news? He's in 9th place. The good news? It's only week 3. The bad news? Gotta go play Scott next, and the Cardinals (Scott's entire team) are playing the Commanders... I see some scoring coming out of that game for sureeeeee.
Dallas and I had a nice little shitty matchup rolling for most of the weekend. That is, of course, until Ja'Marr Chase remembered that he's really good at football. Chase and J Tay dominated, the rest of Dally's team took the week off, thankfully for Dally, my entire team took it off, except Goedert. I may, or may not, have left a sizeable amount of points on my bench, and I am choosing not to focus on that, but to congratulate Dallas on a hard earned victory. Dallas vs Spencer in Week 4. Caleb vs Eric. Two matchups worth following if you like boofing drugs and doing hot guy shit.
Nick got the stats slapped out of him by Sideline Karmalytics, 99-53. Nick's team was really, really bad. Eric Saylor had three players score zero points, still whooped that ass. Normally, I would think a manager in Nick's position is far from panicking. It's only Week 3, he's 1-2, hasn't gotten to see his star RB play, blah blah blah. But this is Nick we're talking about here, and when he gets that itch to sell, he just pulls the trigger. How strange will it be to see Nick sell his players all off two years in a row...
Nick and Mason are now the only two humans in this league that can say they've been outscored by Bradley in a given week.
Just feels like a big matchup between Dallas and Spencer, I want to see how that Pull Out Method works against Dem Other Boys, knowwhatI'msayin???
Commish Out.
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