I mean, it was the most last minute and poorly executed volunteer service we've had in the league, but Bradley got it done (presumably) and got it done on the very last day possible to avoid a 69F fine. I'm just happy he did something, super okay work B-Rad! Man, I had some fun plans for his 69F fine, mostly involving fixing horse races so I got most of it, but there was some other delicious plans you guys might of even enjoyed.
Dallas and Dem Other Boys pick up their 2nd straight win behind CJ Stroud, D'Andre Swift, and Jonathan Taylor. Ja'Marr Chase and Mike Evans chip in a combined 29, and Pull Out Method is handed their first loss of 2024 with a final score of 114-94. Fun fact, Dallas had five people on his bench injured and didn't play in Week 4. None of them are holy shit good players, but damn! Spencer gets his first loss, and I'm sure CANNOT WAIT until Week six when supposedly AJ Brown will be back. Dude drops a 20 spot in his first game and hasn't suited up since.... ouch!
Man I can't imagine how rock hard Jake gets when Derrick Henry scores north of 30, the Ravens win, and his fantasy team wins. I can picture that smug little smile right now, and I love it. King Henry drops 35, over 30 two weeks in a row, Bare Bottoms cruises past Cinnamon Danish 104-66 with no questions asked. Jake did have a non-kicker starter score -2, an amazingly impressive feat. Justin Fields casually dropped 34 points on AO's bench, which is never fun. Speaking of shitty qbs, turns out Jake may have, in fact, overpaid for Anthony Richardson. After a 25 point Week 1, the sophomore QB has failed to crack double digits in all three games since! I know you're not worried about it Jake, but I wanted to be sure to mention it. Jake moves up to first place, at 3-1, and the league's highest scorer. He's the highest scorer, and has the lead leading least amount of points scored against with 297.
Monday Night Magic should probably be my new team name. I had my matchup with Eric written off. Signed, sealed, delivered. After leaving 17 more points in the QB slot on the bench (Baker), and Eric's team not sucking like I hoped it would, I had lost hope. Obviously I had forgotten about the horseshoe in my ass and the fact that Kenneth Walker III, my boy, would never let me down! Hilariously, (for me, not Eric), I texted Eric Sunday about hating myself and Baker, blah blah, and Eric informed me everything would be okay because Mark Andrews wouldn't score any points. See screenshot below.
What a guy, not only making me feel better, but correctly predicting the poor future for his player. Lamar Jackson and Nico Collins almost got it done for Eric, but our favorite stat guy and Sideline Karmalytics goes down 99-94. Despite being the second highest scorer in the league, Eric currently sits at 2-2 and 6th place, with the five 3-1 teams ahead of him. His schedule doesn't get any easier, moving on to battle with another 3-1 team, Spencer and his Pull Out Method madness.
In another tiiiiiight matchup, Scott and Mason had a grinder, with The BJ's coming out on top 89-85. Poor Mason, poised to win this matchup if his team's namesake, Rashee Rice, hadn't gone down without scoring any points! Now Rice is REALLY Young & Wrecked, amirite? Brian Robinson Jr and Jordan Mason sure did their parts, with 20 and 24 point outings. Is Patrick Mahomes gonna be a good fantasy QB ever again? He hasn't scored more than 15 points on the season... yikes. James Conner led the way with 19 for Scott, and The BJ's move to 3-1 and 3rd place on the young season. Scotty faces Jake in Week 4, and Mason takes on Nick, who is projected for a mean 63 points as I'm typing this.
Speaking of Nick, wow that was close! For the second week in a row, Bradley scores 71 points and scares the shit out of his opponent. This week, it was his boy, Younghoe Koo who was the monster. If he had only started Lockett over Johnson, Bradley could have tasted sweet sweet victory, and Nick would have never heard the end of it. San Fran's 22 point defensive effort ended up saving the matchup for Nick. I haven't spoken to Nick directly about this, but I can only imagine how fantasy depressed he is currently. Thankfully for him, he's 2-2 and only one game out from the leaders, but he's only averaging 73 points per week, and I'm sure that hurts his soul. To give everyone context, AO's 33F team is averaging 70.25 per week (Nick had 323F at the draft). Woof!
In the closest matchup of the week, Tank got his poor heart broken on a Monday Night yet again. Heading into Sunday Night Football, Ragen had a 39 point lead, but Tank had Josh Allen, Achane, Montgomery, LaPorta, and Thomas Jr left to play. Ragen only had the Detroit Kicker left. That is an insane position to lose in. I feel for you Tank! Jayden Reed (22) and Chuba Hubbard (20) led the way for Ragen. In hindsight, Tank did leave 9 more QB points on his bench, but there's no way I'm ever starting Dak over Josh Allen, so nothing to see here. He did, however, start Achane over Etienne, and that four point delta could have been the game.
I vaguely remember Scott and Nick talking in the group chat about luckiest/unluckiest teams in the league so far. I could easily be the luckiest, but I think Nick is a frontrunner for luckiest as well. I've had Monday Night magic, but I've also scored some points on the season. Nick is lucky he's not 0-4. Without doing my homework, I'm giving Tank unluckiest, because he's SO CLOSE to being 3-1 instead of 1-3.
I'm very excited for the Bare Bottoms and The BJ's matchup, as well as Pull Out Method vs Sideline Karmalytics. I'm personally very excited to get my bye week against Bradley, but mildly worried about the wizard magic he's been pulling on his opponents the last two weeks.
Happy first bye weeks boys! Commish Out.
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