2024 - Week 6

I made an impromptu trip to Portland and got to see Eric, Mason, and Jake. Jake and I had the opportunity to dine at the very exclusive Multnomah Whiskey Library downtown. This is a members only place, and just because I happened to serve the owner at Hawkeye & Huckleberry one time, we had the opportunity to sneak in! It was fantastic seeing the boys, and you can see Jake in his element in the picture above. Not shockingly, I didn't really take any good pictures, and this one is my favorite anyway. Look at that drunk sexy bastard. On to the Week 6 recap!

Spencer and Pull Out Method get back on track, spanking Weekend at Bernies 119-69 (nice), after his two game skid. AJ Brown has now played two games in 2024, and he’s scored 20 non-PPR fantasy points in both. Vintage Godwin has been on display this year, on Sunday he caught 11 balls for 125 yards and two touchdowns, good for 27 in our league. Bijan finally scored more than 11 fantasy points, exploding for 22 as the Falcons handled the Panthers. Turns out Bradley’s team still sucks, despite his epic victory last week. Spencer moves up to third place overall and moves on to meet with Mason in Week 7. 

Eric and Ragen had a battle in Week 6, and Eric got beat on a Monday night once again! A ten point lead and Conklin in the TE slot wasn’t enough to hold off Breece Hall, especially when Conklin only scores 1 point. Eric gets to softly cry in the corner for finally not starting Andrews, and see it cost him the matchup. Low key, Ragen may have the best kicker in the league in Austin Seibert. Since he took over in Week 2, the only kick he’s missed is the 52 yarder this weekend that a defender got a hand on. His lowest point total has been 9, and he has a 22 point outing for his high water mark. He chips in 14 this weekend and the Packers defense adds 10 to help Cuming of Rage secure the win. Eric loses another receiver to the IR as Shaheed goes down, a week after he lost Niko Collins. The highest scoring matchup of the week did not disappoint! Eric slides down to 5th place with a very strong point total, but sets his sights on a friendly matchup against AO in Week 7. Ragen gets the pleasure of playing Bradley, which we’ve established is still a bye unless your team shits the bed. 

Tank picks up an important victory against the top dog in the league, as !!POUND FOR POUND!! hands Bare Bottoms their second loss in the 105-92 matchup. Montgomery and the Tampa Bay defense gets big work done over the weekend, scoring 37 combined points, and Josh Allen outscored his TE Kincaid on Monday Night to seal the deal. Derrick Henry continues his fantasy domination, but Barkley, Metcalf, and Jalen Tolbert (who?) can't get the job done. Jake scores his lowest point total of the season, which is really impressive because it was 92 and still would have beaten six teams this week. Tank scored his highest point total of the season with 105, and now has to play the number one seed two weeks in a row, as Dem Other Boyz have taken the top spot. Jake slides to second place and sets his sights to Nick in Week 7.

Mason, Kittle, and Wilson Young & Wrecked my squad this weekend 102-76. It was a team win, nobody on Mason's team cracked 20, but 27 combined from Tucker & Pittsburgh sure helped a lot. Getting a combined -1 from my flex and TE sure didn't help. Baker did everything he could do for me, but it wasn't nearly enough. It would have been theoretically possible for me to win if I had a crystal ball and perfectly started Dionte Johnson and Keenan Allen, but I would have never made both of the starts necessary, maybe one of them. Tank and Mason sure did a great job tightening the standings, we now have two games separating 2nd all the way down to 11th, and seven teams either tied or a game back from 5th. Mason moves on to play the team with the most points projected in Week 7, Pull Out Method, and I'm headed in to The BJ's after my two game losing streak. Time to get the ship corrected!

Sometimes (a lot of times) it's better to be lucky than good; Nick has the third least points scored in the league, with only AO and Bradley scoring worst, and yet he's now 4-2 and in fourth place. He beats Scott 90-69 (nice) after Deebo and Najee finally explode. Twenty points a piece, plus 17 from your kicker means it doesn't matter as much if Danny Dimes is your qb. The Cardinals stack failed Scott again, with the Mighty Mouse only scoring 11, Marvin Harrison Jr with a goose egg after he got roughed up a bit, and James Conner with a paltry 2. Bucky Irving, the new #1 RB in Tampa, and Zay Flowers tried to get something going, but Scott has a rough week and sits at 3-3 and sixth place on the heels of a two game skid.

Speaking of Lucky, Dallas sneaks out a win against AO and Cinnamon Danish 75-68. 75 points was only good enough to beat two other teams in Week 7. De'Andre Swift and Brandon Aubrey carry the majority of the load for Dally, while Caleb Williams (28) and Tony Pollard (15) did their job for AO, but Chris Olave's -2 and injury ended up being the game. Jared Goff had a stellar 27 points on Dallas's bench, and I'm sure AO's already hung himself enough for not having Mattison in the flex or starting over Ford, which would have secured him the win. Fantasy is a cruel, cruel mistress, but she's so sexy it can be infuriating. Dallas is now the lone team at the top, 5-1 and feelin frisky. Dem Other Boyz are working way harder than The Boys (Cowboys) and only time will tell if they can go the distance. Lot of fantasy left to be played.

Great to see you boys in Portland! Week 7 starts in only a few minutes. Love you all. Suck it Scott you're going down, also fuck you for trying to rent from everyone in the league.

Commish Out!