2025 - Week 2

I'll be honest with you guys, it's much more difficult for me to find inspiration for a Commish Note on weeks when I lose. The gambling odds for a Commish Note on a Tuesday when I have won are -110. The odds when I lose for a Commish Note on a Tuesday? +950. So here we go, a Thursday Commish Note and I have to pile drive it, because daddy has a tee time in about an hour.

Mr. 41, Chicken Cock Whiskey, Scotty Mo makes easy work of The Dogefather in Week 2, scoring 100 points on the dot behind a Malik Nabers 31 point explosion. If Jake had stuck with Bo Nix and not jumped on the Justin Fields hype train, he'd be 2-0! Fields got his dick punched in by the Bills, and then suffered a concussion in the 4th quarter, but hey, at least Christian McCaffrey is playing football and scoring double digit fantasy points! Scotty moves on to play the defending champ, Ties and Tears, and Jake looks to bounce back against The Wizard, Mr Technology, B-rad Seehawer.

Speaking of the defending champ, he picks up in 2025 right where he left off in 2024, minus the tying. Brandon Aubrey, the kicker, scored 22 points and led both Dallas's to victory! It was an entire team performance the rest of the way. Nico scored a quick tuddy on MNF, but Repo Ric couldn't get enough steam to make it a game down the stretch. King Henry ended with two fantasy points as the Ravens blew the Browns out, Kyle Pitts still sucks at football, and Eric and I are both VERY excited to see a Philly WR finally score some fantasy points. Like, they will score fantasy points right? RIGHT??? Dallas wins 114-93, is 2-0, and in first place to start the season.

Ripped running royals may not know how to capitlize a fantasy team name, but they sure capitilized on the football field Thursday and Sunday! The Sun God returned to form with a 32 point outing, as the Lions pissed all over the Bears. Tucker Kraft showed that he may in fact be Jordan Love's favorite target with a 21 point performance, and Drake Maye looked like a competent NFL quarterback! Nick sprints past Spencer 143-83, more than makes up for a low scoring Week 1, and sets his sights on Mr Slick and the Taco Tickler. I just realized Ragen's team name is referencing his bald head and his mustache. Don't worry about me, I'm definitely paying attention.

Ragen beats the living shit out of Paul 132-66 in the largest blowout of the young 2025 season. Ja'Marr with 25, J-Tay with 30, Etienne even showing he may be the guy again in Jacksonville (two weeks in a row). I find it absolutely insane that Ragen is starting Dak Prescott over his boy, Jordan Love, but hey, it worked in Week 2! Paul's sexy rookie RB strategy hasn't quite panned out yet, but the season is young, and it turns out those rookie's are young. In the immortal words of Bradley Seehawer, let it develop. Paul, still searching for his first win, rolls in to square off with Eric in Week 3 to try and right the ship.

Turns out my team is wayyyy less shitty with Josh Allen scores 41 points. Tank survives a low scoring week (4th lowest in the league) to move to 2-0. Achane and Bijan were the stars in this one. Tank couldn't get a WR to score any points, but if you're playing against someone who also can't get a WR to score a point, it makes things much easier! Tank vs Spencer in Week 3, Caleb vs Mason.

Mason gets the job done against Stolen Valor, 95-62, and one has to start wondering if Bradley is doomed to be the worst person in this league for the rest of time. His team is objectively WAY BETTER than the last five years, but they still haven't found a way to win. It's like the Browns, only sadder. James Cook showed up to play, but that was about it for Bradley's motley crew. Mason gets a big game from Odunze, and solid games from Ceedee and Gibbs, but loses Joe Burrow to turf toe, AND JJ McCarthy to an ankle injury.

Spencer is projected for the most points in Week Three at 104, Bradley is projected for the least at 70. Happy Week Three gentlemen!

Commish Out.