2025 - Week 5

After a 2-0 start, our defending champion Ties and Tears has now dropped three games in a row! Paul knocks Dallas down another peg, winning the matchup 117-82 in Week 5. Smith-Njigba and Waddle led the way with 42 combined points, and the Indy defense dropped 18 in their blowout of the Raiders. One has to wonder why Paul is starting Herbert over Hurts, but I'm sure he has his reasons, even if they aren't very good. Paul wins the matchup but loses one of his guys, right as the sexy rookie was getting hot, Omarion Hampton is placed on IR after the ankle injury that caused him to leave the game against Washington. Dallas was the recipient of great Mahomes play once again, and the NY Giant TE Theo Johnson added 15 points, but with only three players in double digits, his team didn't stand much of a chance in this one.

Ripped running royals are on a two game heater, scoring 112 last week then following it up with 127 this week. Rico Dowdle and Javonte Williams go for a 59 point explosion, and Williams has catapulted to the #2 fantasy RB for the season. Jake Ferguson (16) and 'Bill' (27) did all they could do in this one for Scotty, it has to be nice seeing Jacory get something going finally, but Scott drops his second match in a row, and has to try and right the ship against our league's #1 seed, the undefeated Lost In The Sauce, in Week 6. Even though he's scored in the 70s two of the five weeks, Nick still has the league's highest scoring team in the Bro Montana. Impressive!

Mr Slick and the Taco Tickler just absolutely spanked Mason and The Damned, 125-72. Dak with 27, Chase with 26, Egbuka with 27, and J Tay with 28, that's a helluva sexy looking top four spots on the starting lineup. Mason's highest scoring player was Ka'imi Fairbairn with 18, which is a very very nice kicker score, but not the best top player score. Mason turns an injured CeeDee into two great pieces back AND 12F, so even though he's at 1-4, the immediate future looks a little bit brighter! Ragen sits in third place, with the second most points scored on the season, and has to be feeling pretty damn good about things.

Bradley mother fucking Seehawer is on a roll. First draft he has money at in a long time, then starts 0-2, but reels off three in a row, in fourth place, he may not even have to perform any witchcraft this week, his team may actually be good! Stolen Valor puts the hurt on Duped up and Lubed up 112-62. Matt Stafford and Kyren Williams did the heavy lifting in this one, scoring 28 and 22, respectively. Bucky Irving was sidelined for Week 5 and Raschaad White showed the world he still has gas in the tank, going for 19 points with a pair of tuddies. The dumbest thing Bradley did this week was start the Baltimore defense. They've only had positive fantasy points one game the entire season, but Bradley still has faith! Spencer is still waiting for Saquon to give him something, his high watermark fantasy point total for a game this year is 14, and Jayden Daniels has been wildly underwhelming. He gets Josh Jacobs back next week, so he won't have to start Justice Hill again, but being in 10th place isn't ideal. Thankfully for him he gets to play the 11th place team in Week 6 (sigh).

19-3, Matt Stafford's record in games played during December, January, and February with the Rams. 19-3, the Steelers record on MNF under coach Mike Tomlin. 19-3, Jake's regular season record against me in the Bro Montana Bowl. To make things more insane, not only has he beat the shit out of me in the Win/Loss ratio, he's up 552 points in the scoring margin. The only Bro Montana matchup that comes close is Eric's 19-5 record against Scott with a margin of 440. Other mentionable head to head beatdown is Ragen's 15-2 record against Dallas with a margin of 373. Alright, enough of that. Jake continues his domination of me 111-88, Just Fields outscored Josh Allen 25-19. McCaffrey and Breece Hall hold it down with 19 and 16, and Deebo chipped in 15 points. Jameson Williams was nice enough to score zero points, and even though Judkins looks like a steal of a workhorse RB for the Browns, 15 points isn't gonna get it done this week. Jake slides up to fifth place after picking up his second win in a row, and I am trending in the Mason direction of the standings when I really really want to be trending in the Tank direction.

Speaking of Tank, saving the best for last. Lost In The Sauce is a perfect 5-0 on the season. He would have lost to five scores in the league this week, but lady luck is always going to be involved when you're 5-0. He beats Repo Ric in a tight one 100-94, with Trevor Lawrence and Brian Thomas Jr getting the points Tank needed on MNF. After his 30 point Week 1, Derrick Henry has then scored 2, 9, 5, and 9. OUCH. Eric may be desperately wishing for Lamar's comeback even more than Jake at this point. I mention Tank's #1 kicker in last week's commish note and then he goes down for the season. My bad! Spencer Shrader tears his ACL and MCL, and one has to wonder if that was the secret to Tank's undefeated success. Lol. Tank moves on to face a win hungry Chicken Cock Whiskey squad, where the powers that be have already given Scott's Philly defense 10 points, ahead of the matchup. Evidently the kind folks at Yahoo want Scott to win just as much as all of us.

On to Week 6!

Commish Out.