2025 - Week 7

You know what’s crazy? When Joe Flacco won a Super Bowl I was firmly in (and still am in) the camp that Flacco was most certainly NOT elite. Joe Flacco in the sunset of his career? ELITE. My god, his work the last couple years has been insane. Gets traded to the Bengals, almost no time to learn the playbook, no problem! Throw the ball to Ja’Marr Chase, seems fairly simple, and yet Burrow couldn’t even figure that out in 2025 until he got hurt. Hats off to one of the greatest late stage career performances for a QB in the NFL I’ve ever seen. 

Ragen sure tickled my taco, beating the living shit out of me in Week 7, 137-76. Jonathon Taylor is the #2 player in fantasy. He’s out scored every single QB except Patrick Mahomes. He hangs 30 on the Chargers, Chase grabs 25 from the legendary Joe Flacco, McBride has his highest total of the year with 19, and Ragen sneaks in as the highest scoring team of 2025 in the league. Jalen Hurts decided to finally start throwing the ball to his best WR, AJ Brown gets 27, and Judkins (the steal of the draft, thankfully I did one thing right) scored 26, but the rest of my team was a hot steaming pile of dog shit once again. As Mason so kindly reminded me via text, I’m now 4 points out of last place and staring down a strong Repo Ric squad that is most likely getting Lamar Jackson back in Week 8 (gulp).

Paul had a solid showing from most of the team, but Jeanty and Waddle let him down big time. Nick gets 22 from Maye, 21 from Olave, 20 from Javonte (probably ACTUALLY the steal of the draft) and sprints his way to 5-2. JSN had one of the sexiest touchdown catch to Field Goal post connections I’ve ever seen, but Tripping Balls falls to Ripped running royals 90-115, and Nick grabs his 4th win in a row. 

DALLAS FUCKING DID IT! How fitting that our defending champ corrected his four game losing streak by beating the only undefeated team in the league. Mahomes throws up 25, but Aubrey’s 17 from the kicker slot comes up big to make up for the poor RB scoring of Kamara and Pollard. Caleb Williams does Caleb Williams things and scores 4, Waller drops a goose egg and injures his pec in the process, and with a losing margin of 18 that was the difference in the ball game. CeeDee drops 20 fresh off the injury, and Rashee scores 16 in his debut of 2025. Plenty of things to be excited about if you’re Tank. Great job Dally! Suck it Tank. 

Jahmyr Gibbs, what a dawg. Mason had a very small chance to pull out his second win of the season, then Gibbs got wiiiiiiilllllddddd, scored 36 points on MNF and The Damned win by nine points. 61 of his 97 points came from the Cleveland defense and Gibbs, Pineiro the kicker was the only other player to break into double digits on the squad, but a win is a win baby! Difficult to predict Dart out scoring Baker, but if Scotty had gone with Dart it would have been more than enough for the win. As it stands, we have four teams at 2-5. Only three games separate 2nd and 12th, which is the tightest field we’ve had in years. 

D Smith (27) and D Swift (22) led the way for Repo Ric, toss in 19 from the New England defense and 100 points comes real quick. B-Rad got 27 from Matt Stafford, who is quickly becoming my favorite QB of all time directly behind Joe Flacco, but Stolen Valor couldn’t get much else going. Projected for 75 but only scored 67, Bradley drops his second game in a row while Ric picks up his second win in a row.

A 36 point difference between the QB you start and the QB you should have started is an insane margin. Has to be the most in this league ever. Justin Fields is still Justin Fields it turns out, got benched for Tyrod and scores 3 points, while Bo Nix went absolute fucking beast mode in the 4th quarter against the Giants, to the tune of 39 points. As you may have figured out by now, Jake started the wrong one, and it cost him the game. Duped up and Lubed up take down The Dogefather 95 to 79, improving to 4-3, with his eyes on running the train on Ragen in Week 8. You see what I did there. Spencer, the now conductor, running the train. Boom. 

Happy Week 8, I’m gonna repo Ric’s butthole this week.

Commish Out!