2025 - Week8

There are plenty of ways for fantasy football to break our poor, little hearts... but having the second most points scored in a week and losing to the #1 points scored has to be up there on the heartbreak list. Breece Hall had a 33 point explosion, Troy Franklin threw up 20 and Dicker/Kansas City combined for 23. Kimani Vidal and Drake Maye kept Nick around, and Tucker Kraft gave hope when all was lost on SNF after going for 143 yards and two tuddies. Nick remains in second place with the most points scored in the league, and we know he's in good spirits after the loss because he didn't even have Puka or the Sun God this week, and still put up 120. Jake sits in fourth place, having won four of the last five games, averaging 113.5 for those wins. He looks ahead to a big #3 vs #4 matchup against Mr Slick and the Taco Tickler in Week 9.

Well, my team finally broke 100, for the first time this year. I Repo Ric's tight little butthole 112-88 behind Kareem Hunt's 16, my new favorite toy (possibly Herbert's too) Oronde Gadsden tosses in 13, and McLaughlin/Buffalo combine for 34. Derrick Henry scores double digit points back to back weeks, for the first time this year! In the end, it was the Falcons stack that did Ric in, Cousins and Mooney combine for a whopping seven points. Repo Ric slides to sixth place and looks ahead to a #5 vs #6 matchup against Duped Up and Lubed Up in Week 9. I get to battle it out with the newly named The Graveyard to try and sneak back into the playoff conversation, or be doomed to battle things out at the bottom.

Ragen and Spencer had a fucking battle this week, a battle of elite RBs. 2025 Jonathan Taylor is one of the greatest gifts the fantasy gods could ever bestow, he scores 38 points, breaking 30 in back to back games. Saquon Barkley's high point total of the season was 14, he finally gives what Spencer paid for with a 32 point outing against his former Giant squad. The rest of Spencer and Ragen's teams did very little to help the monster RBs out, and Ragen elected to start Dak (scored 6) over his boy Jordan Love (scored 31), so JayTay's 38 went wasted and Spencer picks up his third win in a row! Spencer gets his third in a row, and he spoiled Ragen's streak, which ended at three in a row. Ragen looks to right the ship against The Dogefather in Week 9.

Look who's crying now, Ties and Tears drops to The Damned 93-95 that came down to the wire and Patrick Mahomes on MNF. The Tampa Bay defense scored 26, and Pittman Jr continues his solid season with 15, but Chase Brown ended up being the difference maker for Mason with his 22 point breakout game. Brown scored his season high of 13 last week, then followed it up nicely as the Bengals pissed away their blowout of the Jets. I'm sure Dallas already knows, but just so everyone else does, if he had started Chubb over either Pollard or Kamara, he would have tied! Which would have been hilarious. Ties and Tears looks to dry up and take on Stolen Valor in Week 9.

Speaking of Stolen Valor, we all know being lucky is probably better than being good in fantasy football, the #2 highest scoring team lost to the #1 scoring team in Week 8, and the #11 scoring team beat the #12 scoring team, as well. Bradley beats Scott 68-37 with exactly half of his team's points coming from James Cook III. Reminding us of the Bradley of the last few years, Gay and Minnesota both had goose eggs, but unlike the Bradley of old, he got the win baby! Not to be outdone by B-Rad, Scotty had three zeros in his starting lineup, and loses the immortal Skattebo to the season ending injury of his ankle being ripped off. Sigh. RIP 2025 Skattebo, that was a super fun little ride.

Tank puts up his lowest point total of the season, and Tripping Balls spanks the #1 seed 97-69, handing Tank his second loss in a row. Chris Boswell puts up a monster 20 points, and Kelce and Waddle both end up with 15. Bijan could only score two points as the Falcons somehow get blown out by the Dolphins, after beating the Bills two weeks prior. Rashee Rice has another strong showing, but the rest of Tank's team was uninspired by last week's loss. Paul moves on to the battle of the cousins, can Mason keep the winning streak alive??

We now have a very tight field after this last week's proceedings... only two games separate the #2 seed and the #11 seed and somehow last place (Scott) is only two games out of a playoff spot. As you may have noticed, this is a wild week for matchups:

#1 vs #2

#3 vs #4

#5 vs #6

Battle of the Gay Boys, I mean Cousins.

Happy Week 9 bitches!